


drowning in rain (no more)

by thisissirius



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: M/M, Or not so secret ;), Secret Admirer, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:13:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22663795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisissirius/pseuds/thisissirius
Summary: The card is drawn well, bright and colorful and Buck knows immediately who it’s from.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 31
Kudos: 367





	drowning in rain (no more)

**Author's Note:**

> because who could resist valentines day?
> 
> just kidding, i can, but christopher, however, cannot ;)

_Fires are red_

_Your eyes are blue_

_You’re a brave fireman_

_And I am too_

The card is drawn well, bright and colorful and Buck knows immediately who it’s from. 

“What’s that?”

Buck jumps, stuffing the card back in his locker. “Nothing.”

Chim raises his eyebrows. “You sure about that, Buckaroo?”

Buck isn’t stupid. He’s known Chim for a long time and he knows nothing good can from telling Chim about the card so he just shrugs. “Nothing I wanna tell you about.”

“Rude,” Chim mutters. He elbows Buck gently in the side. “Don’t tell me about your super secret admirer then.”

“They’re not a secret,” Buck says in return, and he’s not lying. Chim waves him, something about asking Maddie, and Buck wishes him luck. He’s not about to confide in Maddie that he’s received a Valentine’s card, especially not when he knows she’ll say, “Eddie!,” like it’s obvious. 

Christopher, maybe, Buck thinks, taking another look at the card and grinning. It’s the same kind of drawing and writing that he’s seen on countless pictures attached to his refrigerator. He slides it carefully into the back of the locker, and thinks about why Christopher would be sending him Valentines. 

  
  


_I trust you a lot_

_And without you I can't swim_

_But if we work together_

_I know that we can win_

“So,” Buck starts, dropping onto the couch next to Eddie. “Does your family do the whole Valentines thing?”

“You mean to each other?” Eddie frowns, tossing a few kernels of popcorn into his mouth. “Why?”

“Maddie and I do,” Buck admits. He means it to be a segue into talking about Christopher’s card, but as always happens when he reveals shit about his personal life, his voice dips and he stares at his knees. “Made it easier when I never got any in high school.”

When Buck risks a look at Eddie, there’s a complicated expression on his face. He frowns. “You? With those baby blues?”

Buck stalls. What? 

Eddie flushes and shrugs. “I just mean, some girl out there had to want you badly enough to be your Valentine.”

“Maddie,” Buck says with a lop-sided grin. “She’d make sure I had one every year. I just wondered if you and Chris did that?”

“He does them at school,” Eddie says, settling back against the couch, arm and thigh pressed to Buck’s. Buck thinks he could stop breathing and they’d stay in that moment, touching, warm, perfect. He shakes it off quickly. This card is fucking with his head. “Brings them home, but I don’t think i’ve ever given him one.”

Buck nods, stares back at the TV, though he’s not sure he’s watched any of it. 

“Why?”

“I just wondered,” Buck says, and watches Eddie’s eyebrows raise. He sighs. “I think Maddie’s sent mine early, that’s all, and it made me think about it.”

It must sound truthful - that, or Eddie knows he’ll cave in his own time and confess the truth, which is frightening when Buck thinks about it too much. 

“If you want one, I’m sure I could get Chris to make you one.”

Buck snorts, nudging Eddie’s leg with his own. His heart lurches painfully when he thinks about Eddie actually sending one. That way lay madness. 

  
  
  
  


_You always know what to say_

_When I’m crying and sad_

_But I know you’ll be_

_The best boyfriend I ever had_

Buck’s not sure if Christopher’s managed to get help, but he doesn’t care. The letters this time are written around a huge misshapen heart and his own heart feels too big for his chest. This time the card was left at his house, and he knows exactly when. Eddie pulled a double and Buck spent the weekend with Christopher. 

Leaving the card on the counter, he flips the coffee machine on and grins when Hen comes down the stairs. 

“What’s new Buckaroo?”

“Funny,” Buck says, rolling his eyes. He wants to tell someone about the cards, to know whether he’s going insane - or if it means what he thinks it means. Hen’s always the easiest choice; she knows Eddie and Buck, and she’ll know when the serious edge is needed. He trusts her to be honest with him. 

Buck needs that. Maddie’ll support him no matter what. Chim can be serious, but he doesn’t like thinking about Buck dating anyone, let alone a teammate, and Bobby - yeah, Buck’s not gonna tell him until he’s certain. 

“This,” Buck says, shoving the pictures across the island.

Hen gives him an appraising look. “You know who they’re from?”

“Of course,” Buck says, lips quirked up into a smile. “You think I haven’t seen this drawing style a million times?”

To prove a point, he tacks the picture up next to one of Christopher’s drawings and Hen’s eyebrows raise. “Eddie knows?”

“I doubt it,” Buck says with a shrug. He feels the disappointment swelling and wants to push it away. 

Hen watches him carefully and then comes around the counter, waiting for Buck to meet her eyes. “We both know he does.”

Buck doesn’t know what to make of her vehemence. “He’ll stop it.”

“Probably,” Hen allows, “but maybe this,” she gestures at the pictures on the fridge, “is the only way it’ll ever happen.”

It’s not. Buck knows Eddie’s stronger than he’s given credit for, than he gives _himself_ credit for, and maybe he needs to know that Buck’s not against what the cards are suggesting. 

  
  
  
  


_When you look at me_

_I feel like the best_

_I think our love_

_Can pass the test_

“I lied to you,” Buck says. 

Eddie turns off the stove and turns slowly, frowning. “When?”

Suck it up, Buckley. “When I said Maddie sent me the Valentine.”

There’s a horrible silence in the kitchen and Buck almost doesn’t want to look Eddie in the eye. To his surprise, Eddie doesn’t look angry, just resigned. “I was hoping he was kidding.”

“What?”

Eddie straightens, but folds his arms across his chest. It puts a barrier between them that Buck doesn’t like. Eddie’s only ever this reluctant to talk to him when what he’s got to say means something. “Christopher’s been sending them. And you know.”

“Yeah, I do,” Buck says slowly, not understanding. “I get enough pictures to know, Eddie.”

“I know.” Eddie rubs his hand over his face. “He told me he was gonna give you a Valentine, and I hoped he was kidding.”

“Not just one,” Buck admits. “And not from him.”

Eddie pauses, arms dropping to his sides. There’s fear in his expression and Buck wants to wash it away. “What are you talking about?”

Buck tugs the pictures from his pocket, places them on the counter in front of him. The expression on Eddie’s face is hard to read as he runs his hands over them. 

“Shit.”

“Eddie-”

“I’ll tell him to stop,” Eddie says immediately. “I’m sorry.”

“Eddie,” Buck says again. Eddie’s not looking at him, and his hands have clenched into fists. He’s shutting down and if Buck doesn’t stop this soon, Eddie’s gonna put that wall back up. “It’s all right.”

“It’s not.”

“It is,” Buck stresses, leaning across the counter to punch Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie raises his head, eyes shining with something Buck can’t define. “I’m not mad.”

Eddie opens his mouth, then closes it again. “Why?”

“It’s Christopher,” Buck says with a shrug. Then, at the wariness in Eddie’s eyes, he grins. “And you. Buddy, it wouldn’t be a hardship if you were my Valentine.”

He phrases it like a joke, but there’s a serious undercurrent that he knows Eddie picks up on. Neither of them says anything for a while, and when Eddie turns back to the stove, his shoulders aren’t as tight. 

When Carla and Christopher return, Buck sweeps Christopher into his arms and Christopher laughs, arms thrown around Buck’s neck. 

Buck can feel Eddie’s eyes on them and he wants Eddie to look and _see_ : it’s okay to want this, want the three of them together because it’s what Buck wants too. 

  
  
  
  
  


_You brought me sunshine_

_When i was drowning in rain_

_You brought me laughter_

_When I knew only pain_

Buck’s sure he’s stopped breathing. 

His fingers curl around the edge of the card and Buck slams his locker shut, grabbing his duffel from the bench and jogging down the steps. 

“Buck,” Bobby starts when he passes, but Buck holds up a hand - the one holding the card - and Bobby cuts himself off. 

Eddie’s still in the parking lot, tossing his stuff in the trunk of his truck, and he’s got his phone out, smiling gently. Buck’s almost on him before he looks up, and when he does, he swallows thickly. “Buck-”

“I thought you said you ask Christopher to stop,” Buck says. His voice sounds wrecked, and he’s probably gonna cry if Eddie does anything except admit it’s him. 

“I did,” Eddie says quickly, eyes darting to the card in Buck’s hand and then back up to his face. “Is that-”

Buck drops his duffel on the floor, takes a step forward. Eddie doesn’t back up, but he does titl his chin, like he’s standing his ground. It breaks Buck’s heart that even now, Eddie doesn’t think he’s a sure thing - or that Eddie’s not worthy of Buck’s attention. “You know who it’s from.”

Eddie opens his mouth, looking sceptical, but he seems to think the better of what he was going to say. “When you told me what Christopher was doing, what he told me he would do, I was scared. I wasn’t mad,” he hurries to say, as if Buck’s ever gonna be worried about Eddie hating on Christopher for anything. “I just wished I had the same courage.”

“You do,” Buck says slowly, holding up the card. “This takes courage, Eddie.”

“To put a card in someone’s locker?” Eddie scoffs.

“To put something in my locker you knew would be obvious,” Buck explains, taking another step forward. Eddie rises to meet him, maybe regaining some courage, maybe realizing that Buck’s not running. Buck curls a hand around Eddie’s waist, fingers catching against the hem of his pants. Eddie’s only a touch shorter, but it feels like miles when Buck looks him in the eye. “You’re braver than you think you are away from war, Eddie.”

Eddie’s breath catches, his fingers twitching against Buck’s stomach. “Buck.”

“It’s all right.” Buck leans in, free hand against Eddie’s cheek, thumb brushing the curve of his cheekbone. “Eddie, it’s just me.”

“Never just you,” Eddie says in a rush, like he’s breathing the words out quickly. 

“Thanks for being my Valentine, Eddie,” Buck says with a grin. 

Eddie huffs out a laugh. “Shut up.”

Buck’s not sure which of them moves first, but they’re kissing and it’s - it’s _perfect_. There’s no angels singing, no crackle of energy. There’s just Eddie and Buck, and the rough press of Eddie’s lips to his. Buck tugs, pressing their bodies flush, and Eddie’s hand moves to Buck’s neck, holding him in place - as if Buck’s ever gonna wanna move from this moment. 

When they part, Eddie’s eyes are bright, his smile wide. “We should let Christopher know his plan worked.”

Buck laughs and yeah, okay, maybe they need to move to the next moment because it’s promising to be so much better than the first. 

Christopher’s smile is worth a hundred Valentines.

**Author's Note:**

> one day i'll get them to say _i love you_ i promise.


End file.
